Coop Commentary - Borderlands 2 (Tiny Tina trumps trains with Badonkadonks)
Last week, we witnessed shocking acts of violence and astounding acts of heroism, both performed by the heroic trio of me, blitz, and INQUE. This week, we returned for MORE. Within minutes of resuming our epic adventure, were plunged into terrible danger right inside Moxxi's bar! TO BE CONTINUED.
What we're still playing:
Who we're playing:
Mike (blitzio): Axton (Max Payne's buddy cop in Brazil) James (INQUE): Salvador (Latino leprechaun) Jed (jRev): Zero (Green alien thing)
Check inside for our continuing adventures on Pandora!
Having put in almost 14 hours in the game so far, I must say it is definitely a worthy successor to the first. The gameplay, gunplay, graphics and of course the dialog and comedic one liners have all been pushed up a notch.
As for this week’s coop session, we finally ran into the internet’s currently most hated gaming character Tiny Tina who many claim racist. Ok I didn’t get it at first but then after several dialogs with her “urban” accent and speech patterns I finally picked it up. Is it because of her Badonkadonks?
Neither of us found it even remotely offensive and I don’t get what some people are so up in arms about but then again this is the internet we’re talking about. Someone always gets offended.
Against our better judgment, we had relented and inserted the wayward AI core into Moxxi's radio. It immediately launched a powerful assault against our eardrums with bad music and all we could do was run around in shock and pain. We were being attacked by sound! SOUND IS THE ULTIMATE WEAPON. WE HAD NO GUNS THAT COULD SHOOT SOUND.
Fortunately, we had enough presence of mind to conclude that the radio was producing all that sound, and we shot the radio instead. And so, the day was once again SAVED.
The AI survived, which was mildly disappointing, but it did finally offer its services as something useful. Long story short, we took it over to Marcus and minutes later, we were the proud owners of our very own talking shotgun. Being a rifle-and-smg kind of guy, I promptly stuck it into my backpack and forgot it ever existed.
We met an old friend in the form of Mordecai the sniper, who provided us with some support in a vast outdoor area, and a new one in Tiny Tina, the hyperactive and violent jive-talking 13-year-old explosives expert who lives inside a cave surrounded by giant mines. We even carried out some jobs for her -- the best one tasked us with the defense of her cave hideout while psychos and bandits continually rushed the entrance in an effort to destroy her generator. The worst one she had us do soon had us up in the mountains searching for bugs or something. My only memory of those moments was following some train tracks over to a small and dilapidated-looking base. I briefly stepped over to the other side of the tracks to make my approach -- and immediately got hit by a speeding locomotive in a rare horror-worthy jump scare moment. A split second later, I was doing the respawn dance a few meters away.
After dealing with Tina and her hysterics, we went on to dismantle an apparently all-powerful robot called Wilhelm, whom the game had been playing up from the start as some sort of ridiculously gimmicky Bond-esque henchman. The battle raged on for several long minutes, and its last few moments found us repeatedly scrambling across the ice to revive a comrade who had been downed by one of Wilhelm's one-hit-down cheese attacks. In the end, though, Wilhelm was a bit nondescript and disappointing. To be fair, after encountering Master Flinter and his boys, everything else we ran across in the game had a somewhat diminished novelty factor.
At this point, we were really rocking some very interesting guns. I had a fire-spewing sniper rifle decked out in badass black with red glowy bits, and a Maliwan acid smg that used a spinning disc that stuck onto its side as ammo. I also had a slag revolver whose cylinder only held three rounds, and those rounds looked like AA batteries. I was having so much fun with my arsenal that I haven't really taken the time to properly look at what my comrades were carrying. At the very least, I knew INQUE was toting at least two rocket launchers on his person for dual-wielding purposes.
More notable in-party transformations occurred at about this point: INQUE turned into a bright green leprechaun complete with bowler hat, and blitz morphed from Max Payne and into that buddy guy from Black Ops 2. I of course changed from Zero into Zero with a slightly different helmet.
Next stop: return to Sanctuary, keep it safe from Handsome Jack, and make it FLY. We obviously did all of these things easily, with the only snag being the revelation that the angel who had been guiding as all this time was a TRAITOR IN HANDSOME JACK’S EMPLOY. Inexplicably, she kept trying to help us and give us advice long after she had admitted that she was indeed a traitor (and long after she had proven it by taking down Sanctuary’s shields, allowing Jack to bombard the city from his giant H in the sky at his leisure), and this allowed us to shift all our hate from Claptrap towards her instead.
Actually, yeah! Screw her. We love Claptrap! In fact, we attended his birthday party. It was the saddest and most depressing thing ever, but we were there! And we had pizza and things!
Things got all muddled after this: Sanctuary was now a floating city in the sky, the angel was not to be trusted, Claptrap was now 7 years old, and a ton of optional quests had suddenly popped up all over the city. We randomly and innocently took a job posting from Ellie, Scooter’s system, unaware that she would soon drag us into her Machiavellian web of deceit and treachery...
I tell you man, shooting guns is just really getting fun and funner (that’s a word right?).
Reloading faster, shooting faster and GUNZERKING right away is just like crack man. Assault rifles with high capacity, high ROF and decent damage is all what I look for. If I can find a shotgun which similar stats, THE BETTER!
I save my rocket launchers for the big bad asses or low level enemies that I want to see go SPLAT! Anyways, where was I? Oh yes!
Holding down that trigger to keep shooting, shooting, SHOOTING! Keep feeding me bullets and enemies! I don’t want to stop shoo-, GOTTA GO SHOOT THAT BADASS BULLYMONG!
When we come back next time: More desert driving in The Dust! More cursing at that traitor Angel AI! More gans, gans, gaaaannnnnsssss! And we've seen almost all our old friends, so where the hell is Brick from the first Borderlands?