OMGeek presents: Bobthekillerpenguin's Battlefield 3 survival guide
We are pleased to bring to you--for the first time ever--a copy of OMGeek Bobthekillerpenguin's Battlefield 3 survival guide. It's bursting at the seams with good tips, sound advice, and... well, you'll see. Because of the significant amount of content in the guide, we had to split it into four posts. This is part 1. Be back this evening for part 2, and definitely be back on November 6 at 1300 hours, when we will release the complete guide from parts 1 to 4 in an easy-to-read pdf format! Editor's note: I really wanted to avoid compromising the fun layout of the original document, so I will be posting an image of the pages, followed by the text content for easier reading.
HOW TO SURVIVE... BATTLEFIELD 3
Lets face it, when a game as awesome as Battlefield 3 finally lands in our laps we all lose it. We go ape shit for ranking up, killing other gamers with headshots, screaming ‘contact right’ (even when it’s left) and setting up our little squads.
But we forget some very important and basic things we need as human beings!
That’s what this little pack is about. A few helpful hints to help you be the best OMGeek soldier you can be!
RULE 1—Drink. “Soldier, you seem dyhydrated! Hydrate!!!!” or a phrase similar to this was constantly screamed at Jake Gyllenhaal by Jamie Foxx in Jar-head. Water is damn important. Make sure you are slugging back 8 or so glasses of the good stuff a day. It’ll keep you focused, hunger pangs will be kept to a minimum and you will be detoxing the natural way.
If your piss ain’t colourless and is all yellow and smelly and shit, then you ain’t drinking enough.
Drink. Drink. Are ya drinking yet?
RULE 2—Exercise. Squats. Deadlifts. Chest press. Over head press. Lateral pull down. Seated Row. All compound movements that can help really burn the calories when your sitting in front of that glorious monitor waiting for that perfect opportunity to pull the trigger.
Aerobic and anaerobic exercise will help keep an OMGeek in good physical condition, allowing you to spot and drop our enemies more efficiently.
Try and hit the gym 3 times a week. Start with an aerobic warm-up of 10-15 minutes (treadmill or whatever). Then hit the weights (free weights NOT MACHINES!!! - say this in a Arnold ‘Get to da Choppa’ voice). Split your work out. Workout A Squats, Chest Press, Over Head Press. Do 3 sets of 8-10. Workout B —Deadlifts, Later Pull downs and Seated row. Same settage as day 1. Third day? Repeat workout A. Alternate your days each week.
Week X— Workout A on Monday, B on Wednesday, A on Friday
Week Y—Workout B on Monday, A on Wednesday, B on Friday and so on.
To be continued.
This was part 1 of Bobthekillerpenguin's BF3 survival guide. Stay tuned this evening for part 2!